(Recorded in Long Beach, CA in September of 2011 after 3 hours of sleep and an intense cold) You're somebody that I'd like to meet A navy shadow on a sunny street There's colors in both of us There's life in our burning blood You caught my eye, painted me red An artist sees what could happen: My blackness, your blues My darkness, your hues Slipped on your blood and I fell in love You got my guts in a latex glove You're squeezin', I'm squeezed You're pleasin', I'm pleased I'm a nut but I'm not tough to crack You got me good and I got your back You're the tower, I'm the bomb You're the singer but I'm the song I'm coming out you like a B-film scream The only time I see you's in my dreams You're naked and half drowned You disappear when I turn around But I'm out, this can't be what life's about My doubt, oh my God my time is running out I want more, show me where that open door leads to, I want more than me and you The Poison apple's the easy way out I'll keep my lips sealed but I have my doubts If illusions keep you alive Do what you gotta do to survive But as for me I'm jumping ship The Titanic had less holes in it I burned you, that's true Believe me when I say I didn't mean to After all babe, I've walked in your shoes And what we've painted is a putrid bruise My blackness, Your blues My darkness, your hues.... I want out, God please just take me out I'm free this ain't where I"m supposed to be I'm free this ain't where I'm supposed to be I'm free this ain't where I'm supposed to be In the suburbs where we lived and died You had to kill yourself just to survive You don't get out, you escape and if you burn out you still fade away So much for Kurt Cobain, Champagne and Rohypnol fame Fifteen and you dream of death.... Nobody's hedging their bets But you'll grow up and fall in love with your twisted idea of true romance, no such thing you love and lose and you love again I keep it simple, I keep it sweet Cuz love's a shadow on a soiled sheet You smile when the sun is out, but there's no shadow quite like a cloud I'm done, you can have your plus one fun Count me out, I still have too many doubts I'm free, this ain't where I'm supposed to be I'm free, this ain't where I'm supposed to be Do you really miss the way I was then? A lovely liar and a two-toned friend Change - I've never really tried to do But if I can do it, you can too I know we've played this game before: Follow the blind down the cellar door Oh the evil, the damage done While it lasted, I guess it was fun When you grow up will you mourn the past? The petty problems and the homegrown grass My blackness, Your blues My darkness, your hues I got my problems, you got your dreams We both live somewhere in between the future and memories, sayin' "thank you" and sayin' "please" Who I'm talkin to, I don't know Is it my brother or is it the phone? Everything is far away No more words left to say Just keep singin' those Blackness Blues Monkey listen and monkey do stare at the abyss, yeah it's true Eventually it stares back at you

(Recorded in Munster, IN, March or April 2011) I'm the one Don't you love me? We could watch each other die. When it ends Will you miss me? Like you did when it began I need to hear you breathe So please just lie to me And tell me everything's alright yeah right yeah right yeah right yeah right Something died Something deepened Something black below us grew Something sad Something sweet and Something that could not be true I feed on false belief I've seen you find relief in arms that never could hold you I'm the one Don't you love me? We could watch each other die When it ends will you miss me like you did when it began? Oh my God I just love you I'm the only one for you All this life All this living All of this is leaving soon

(Recorded in Long Beach, CA September 2011) I'm not in pain The days all feel the same Everything I need I've got Everything I was I'm not Hey, my my I promise I'm not high I know I've lied a lot before Swear I'm not that way no more When I lied You looked me in the eye This is what you said This is what you said: I believe in luck And I still give a fuck Apparently you don't Or maybe you just won't But fear keeps me here While my future disappears 'Cause I feel so apart With the sun beatin' in my heart Oh the sun beating on my heart Feelin' clean Been living in between A dirty lonely death and tangible and black regrets Still I feel Like this life ain't real All I think or seem is but a dream within a dream All I think or seem is but a dream within a dream Been workin' lots To be someone I'm not harder every day To keep those thoughts away I'm amazed at how you all have changed Or maybe it's just me.... It's probably just me But I wanna go Where the roads are slush and snow 'Cause I feel so apart With the sun beatin' on my heart The sun beatin on my heart I don't want to get stoned I just wanna go on home I don't want to get stoned I just want to go on home

(Recorded in Long Beach, CA, September 2011 on 3 hours of sleep during an intense cold) I'm in California but my heart's in Indiana There's a girl there that I know, she's holdin' on to it for me I've got prime directives and a healthy self-perspective Still my only drivin' force is a desire to be free You know me darlin' how I've made the most of death, rampaged through the forest, laid bear traps for regret, So why wouldn't I in my ever-loving life wanna make some darlin' distant thing my wife? I'm in California but my heart's in Illinois there's a band there that I know, they're holdin on to it for me And as they pluck the strings and hit the drums my heart just sings in a tone of utter desperation, longing to be free So come on California, why won't you release me? You've trapped me here in utter fear of what I used to be While I'm in your sunshine prison, walled off by the sea my home state patiently waits to replace me People here are talkin' to my face but I'm not there I'm back home in Chicago playin' music in my mind. I'm supposed to be healing but I'm barely even feeling, I've got to make a break and leave this golden state behind.

(Recorded in Long Beach, CA September 2011) (about the real serial killer Myra Hindley who with the help of her lover Ian Brady murdered and raped several people in Northern England from 1963 to 1965. I fell in love with her picture) You were a loner, a lover, a dreamer You were born for a star But love has a way of tweakin' your aim And when you shot it was off the mark Oh how he loved you, oh how he loved to appear so solemn and dark You fell under the spell of his broken, beat up heart Because after years of watching your gradma Slowly fading away And living the same old dead end life the same old dead end way He showed you a way out, he showed you a different bolder, darker dream And by losing your soul and self to him You found someone to be Oh Myra I would have loved you Still do after all these years You killed to fill up a vastness I know you and I know your fears I saw your face in a newspaper clipping They say you're evil but I know it's a lie You love too much and you love too easily It's still better to kill for love than to cry He was a catch, he was a find He must have been the one Always dressed in black with an impeccable knack for unordinary fun It must have scared you, maybe a little when he drugged you just to see how long the sedatives would work and how hard it would be to drag around bodies, all of that dead weight, It wasn't for nothing, he said And he talked to you about what you'd do like in the books you both had read You picked up a girl, someone you knew and drove her back to him And you raped and cut and at the brink of hell you both dove in Oh Myra I would have loved you Still do after all these years You killed to fill up a vastness I know you and I know your fears Saw your face in a newspaper clipping They say you're evil but I know it's a lie You love too much and you love too easily It's still better to kill for love than to cry Killing the first just awakened his thirst and he brought you along for the ride Two boys, a man, and a girl just five years past five were raped and murdered, tortured and strangled by your lover as you looked on Complicit and willing and maybe just a bit turned on you had a good run but it came to an end as good things often do You hoped that after all you'd done for him he wouldn't be done with you He didn't care much for leavin the jail cell He'd rather his body just rot But you just couldn't accept what you'd done You wanted life and that's what you got Oh Myra I would have loved you Still do after all of these years You killed to fill up a vastness I know you and I know your fears I saw your face in a newspaper clipping They say you're evil but I know it's a lie You love too much and you love too easily Still better to kill for love than to cry I know that you're dead now but I find it sad how You went so far astray I could have loved you and been yours If I was born in your day My dear Myra Hindley, you were a winning dreamer after my heart But you fell in love with the devils son and it tore you all apart.

(Recorded in Long Beach, CA October 2011) There's a pale blue flower growin in my heart There's a pale blue ocean tearin' us apart There's a pale, blue-eyed girl waitin' for her life to start Oh there's a pale blue flower growin in my heart There's a slate grey silence in between our lips There's a slate grey snowfall coverin' our steps There's a slate grey-eyed boy waiting for what's next Oh there's a slate grey silence in between our lips And no color or chemical could come between me and you Oh there's no color or chemical that could make this thing less true So If you're planting kisses or your planting seeds to grow, you'll always reap the cheap rewards you sow Oh If you're planting kisses or you're planting seeds to grow you'll always reap the cheap rewards you sow There's a dead black doorway where a kiss should be There's a dead black doorman, they say he looks like me There's a dead, black-eyed man waiting for what he knows will be Oh there's a dead dark doorway where a kiss should be And no color or chemical could come between me and you Oh there's no color or chemical that could make this thing less true ooh So if you're planting kisses or youre planting seeds to grow, you'll always reap the cheap rewards you sow Honey, oh if you're planting kisses or you're planting seeds to grow You'll always reap the cheap rewards you sow

(Recorded in Long Beach, CA September 2011) There's five hundred humans that I've really met Five hundred people ten thousand regrets "And I've just started living," That's what they all say But I feel like I'm dying a bit more each day My brother is sober he lives in River Falls My mother's life is over my dad's at a loss I talk to them sometimes ten minutes a day "How the hell are you doin' kid?" "Well I guess I'm ok" And I heard 'bout my friends how they're making their names I was part of that story But I guess the plot's changed Now my line's are blank space on the page So how are you doing? I know life's hard to take I heard 'bout your sister and them pills that she ate I hope she's recovered I know you'll be fine But I'm sorry your mother is losing her mind And I heard just last month about our mutual friend and how he took a hot shot and ended up dead And I heard your piano man you should get that thing tuned 'Cause you're wasting your time playing those same old blues And your pedal's still broken and your B flat sounds sharp And the chords you've been playing have been breaking your heart You've broken your heart Remember when we woke up and smoked pall malls in bed? And your eyes were all sleepy and my eyes were all red And I skipped my classes You called in sick We tattooed each other just to get ourselves fixed And remember before that? When every breath was love And the time that we had was just never enough Your life was a rainbow My life was the rain I got everyone wet but didn't stop the parade I still love you all dearly I just want you to know And I write you sincerely a thousand miles from home God damn i feel alone Things here are better Did you hear I got a job? I've been working and writing and smoking a lot And I'm sleeping again I've started to dream But I try not to worry About what they all mean I didn't get your last letter But thanks for the thought We've been having nice weather It's been sunny a lot But the sun feels like a prison And this city's my cell I'd kill for some rain to fill up this dry well I'll send you this Friday When I can buy a stamp Say hello to my best friend Let him know how I am And Dear Mademoiselle, I still think of you Je t'aime, c'est la vie, and I bid you adieu Oh I do... Till I next see you

(Recorded in Long Beach, CA, October 2011) Pity me softly when you find me on the floor Pity me softly when I ain't here no more Pity me gently but one thing you should know Oh, I'm takin' you with me when I go Pity me softly as the hearse rolls slowly by Pity me softly under gray October skies Pity me softly but one thing you should know Oh, you're gonna follow when I go Pity me softly as they put me in the ground Pity me softly with all your eyes cast down Pity me honey, but by now you must know Oh one day you'll go on to where I go Pity me softly standing on my grave Pity me gently, pray that I'll be saved Pity me softly but honey I hope you know Oh I'm takin you with me when I go Oh I'm taking you with me when I go

(Recorded in Long Beach, CA, September 2011. My meth head roomate walked in during the recording of this and it interrupted my mojo) In the still of a summer night that'll never come again you say you're alright And you're still on my mind Though we'll never meet again I guess that's fine You were alone and I loved you Though I didn't know love I still loved you When I kiss your butane lips I felt like I could die and be fine with dying Underneath halogen lights We both split a Camel Wide We both felt the grand divine I didn't know the breeze that blew me to your arms would take you too away from all there was still left to do I was a fool to think that love would last forever face nestled in the fold of your sweater I needed shelter from the storm and I found it in your form I want to go home to you I want to go home to you And I don't wanna be alone when I do Do I need Do I really need you? Or do I need someone to come home to? Am I in love with you for sure? Or am I in love with love? How I hate that word If I tell you I do maybe I'll convince myself that I love you I see you with arms open wide Are you a girl or place to hide? Could my eyes be tellin lies? Have we crossed the great divide? Every story has two sides: Am I on yours or are you anywhere near mine? It's been some time since I thought love would last forever Face nestled in the fold of your sweater So much of life is losing things and waiting for what the sunrise brings Maybe shelter from the storm A lover to keep you warm And baby I could have sworn That I found it in your form

(Recorded in Long Beach, CA, September 2011) So she's sittin' on my bed smoking my cigarettes track marks on her calloused calves that once did pirouettes around my heart, she danced away the night in knee-high socks now she sits and smokes in bed and hardly ever talks But when she does the things she says are tinged with love and death Around her frame I sense a chill, cold shroud of her regret